


The Life and Times of GW

by EHexxe



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blogging, Diary/Journal, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Lemon, Multi, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:47:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26136745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EHexxe/pseuds/EHexxe
Summary: This is going to be a word dump. A word dump of the mind of me, GW, and I wish I could tell you more than that but for sake of things being kept easy and private there is almost no point. Besides, it would be lying if I were to say that I knew who I am and what I want in life. I am just not sure anymore of anything aside from the following...
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Ginny Weasley, Ginny Weasley/Blaise Zabini, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley
Kudos: 3





	1. And now for something completely different...

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Fan Fiction Blog for Ms. Weasley, daughter of Mr. Arthur Weasley and Mrs. Molly Weasley who, like herself, are fictional characters created and owned by JKR, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. This piece of work is entirely fictional and has not been created to step on any toes or generate revenue. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Any additional outside resources or quotes used will be linked and given proper credit.

To be honest I am not very sure where is the best place to start with this, though I suppose that all things must start somewhere and I have technically already started by just typing up these words. So the worst part is behind me then? Or is it just the hardest part?  
  
This is going to be a word dump. A word dump of the mind of me, GW, and I wish I could tell you more than that but for sake of things being kept easy and private there is almost no point. Besides, it would be lying if I were to say that I knew who I am and what I want in life. I am just not sure anymore of anything aside from the following

  * My initials are GW
  * I have attended Hogwarts since I received my invitational letter when I was eleven
  * My first love, if it is possible to call it that, was the great HP
  * I am the only daughter in a rather larger family consisting of a number of male siblings
  * My fondness of sweets is unmatched, especially chocolate frogs
  * I have a lot of thoughts and no where to put them, or perhaps just no one trustworthy
  * My professor recommended that I write things down in an attempt to alleviate some of my stress but to be honest... trying to find a place to write down these thoughts added a lot more stress - it is almost too bad that it cannot be measured
  * I am not entirely sure how this is going to work out, or play out for that matter



When my professor indicated to me that writing things down as a release could be helpful I thought it would be a good idea at first. That was until I remembered that segment of my life in which I wrote in a journal and ultimately became possessed. Something that I would like to forget. Then I thought of other alternatives to journals and realized that a good portion of them would not necessarily be the most private. Of course this will not be either but the different is that this is the muggle world. Do not mind my language of course.  
  
My family and I are a sort of Luddites... its not that we do not like technology, but rather that we do not have a great use for it so it is never around... yes... I think that is the best way to put it. So you see this is probably the most secure way for me to keep track of my feelings and release them as my professor would think. The internet is quite fascinating really, but if you tell anyone I said that I will deny it until the end.  
  
More later I think... I think I should get to sleep before I really get into this.

Hoping to write weekly, cordially yours  
  
GW


	2. When it rains... it dumps

Professor suggested this. I have said that already I am sure but I think the important thing to note here is that I am trying. I do not really have a manual for this sort of thing and although I fancy my intelligence to be greater than most of those here my heart is apparently stupid. Which is why this has been suggested, though I would not imagine that Professor knew what was bothering me, or maybe she did.

My heart is in an awkward place right now, I know who I love and want to be with but I lust after another and it is confusing. Someone I should not be lusting after at all. I'm not sure there is really time to discuss it though. I have P class first thing tomorrow and I would rather not evoke the wrath of this particular Professor... especially since he could contribute to me not seeing him. There just isn't enough time to explain it but something, I don't know really... it just clicked between us. Is that... sappy? I am not sure of the word either but every time I see him my heart races and I just cannot seem to think straight anymore and I just long for him to pull my close into his chest so I can breathe in his smell. Lust is a dangerous thing, which is why it is a deadly sin.

And there is no point in mentioning that there is a third interest. Someone from my past who I am sure my brother would never approve of, let alone my love.

More tomorrow, it is much to early already!

GW

~*~

Suppose there is no time like the present

DM HP BZ

These three have me torn. One is who I feel a deep connection with but I know has the worst outcome. One is who is my perfect match for the future and marriage and kids. One is who I feel consistently attracted and drawn to no matter the circumstance.

They all have their varying points but for some reason I just can not shake them. I wanted to write more today but this new contraption I have for typing is quite limited. It tries to correct my typing instantly which only makes it worse.

Its almost a good thing that my mind is too busy from running through these mad men dreams.

-GW


	3. Suffocation, no breathing

It would appear that I didn't post yesterday. The hot bath filled with bubbles subdued my dramatics and I fell asleep. I guess this only leads up to a proper explanation. More to post later. For now I need a drink, or maybe six, or maybe I just need to pass out before I go through with discuss this further. For now I think I just need to get out of here.

GW

~*~

The use of this mug-- contraption must be getting to my head as I find myself listening to more and more music of that sort of genre... yes I think that word is close enough.

Today I was thinking about how to put this all in the appropriate words, the right order, the sensible logistics and I thought for moment that maybe there were not three - maybe there were four. Of course now that I am writing this I feel as though my brain has decided for me that there are only three - because I cannot remember who on earth is the fourth. Or perhaps I was going to relay back to my ex-boyfriend, DT. He would need an anagram of sorts for this to make sense but I am not sure why - as I said - anymore.

There is an awful lot of story to this and.. ugh - painful to think about, but I know that my mother would never hear of it despite how wonderful of a human being she truly is. I suppose we should jump back a few years,

My fifth year at this school I began dating DT and everything just seemed - well - peachy. I suppose you could say that I was wearing rose colored glasses because I went through our time together thinking that he was it - the end all - the one person for my soul to match. We would fight and argue and I would just continue my life thinking that it was necessary for a relationship of our kind, a relationship where you are destined to be together. But that wasn't the case. Things started changing, DT would ignore me or have me go places with him only to have me locked in an area. He would persist and insist that I come even though he would not acknowledge my presence whilst there. I began to think that he just wanted to hide me from others and I was not sure why. Everything barreled down on me, I started to withdraw from school and I was not sure what to do - but I tried to leave anyway.

The first time I tried to leave it was easy enough but DT still hung around outside of my classes. He'd wait for me to leave and then tell me that he missed me. Anytime he was planning on leaving the school for weekend trips to Hogsmeade or holidays he would find me in the common room and kiss me in the open to say goodbye. Tell me he loved me, needed me. When he got back from Christmas holidays he found me just in the common room and kissed me in the door frame just inside the Fat Lady. It was unlike any other kiss we had shared, he pressed his mouth hot against his and pulled me in hard with his hands on my hips just slightly wrapping around to my back. The force caught me off guard and he used the opportunity to invade my mouth with his tongue but soon enough I was all in. He broke from the kiss, told me he had missed me and left again. And I fell.

Not physically of course but I went back to the belief that he was my end all, my go to, my necessity in order to breathe. All of which I now know not be true but it took someone to show me that and only after a number of days, weeks, months I do not know, but it was not soon enough. DT ended up being my first.

I remember it so vividly it is almost scary - it remains one of the few sexual events that I actually remember and bare with me because I know it so well it may become a tad smutty for some but I should get it off of my mind so that I can sleep.

We were at a sports match for two of our schools teams - our school has four teams in total, we are sorted upon our arrival and do almost everything with that particular team; DT and I are on the G team; red and gold with a lion as the sigil. We are considered to be brave and loyal but as I remember it I had not obtain either quality.

It was raining and H Team and R Team were playing against one another, DT was sitting next to me giving me the eye about leaving. I was huddled against him because I thought it was cold, despite the bench heaters being warm so I agreed believing that we were headed back to the castle but I was wrong. He grabbed my hand forcefully and we walked down towards the exit, officially we had been back together for maybe a week. As we left the stadium I remember thinking we were headed in the wrong direction but staying huddled in my coat and scarf, opting not to pay too much attention until we ended up along the edge of the forest. We were alone, isolated with the lake just behind us and the cheers from the match faintly roaring in the background though they were almost drowned out by the pounding of the rain. He looked at me deeply, his eyes widened with excited and understanding at the same time and he told me he as ready. Ready for the next step, ready for us to go farther, ready for sex - but he worded it manipulatively. He told me that he knew I had been waiting and that he appreciated it, he said that he understood my needs and just wanted me to be happy so he was willing to put it out there for me to take. I felt guilty - it was I who had been holding back.

He blinked his eyes and for a second I thought he was tearing up but instead he was getting ready, the eyes a mere distraction for what was about to happen. With a small smile on his face, either corner of his mouth slight raised he unzipped his pants and pulled out his wand for the appropriate protection - one of the only times he would do that. Distracted by his eyes I had not thought much of it, his pants had been down before and his movement did not deter me until I realized that my pants were also down and DT was turning me around, pushing me face first against a tree. Then there was a feeling of fire in my lower parts. He sounded unconcerned when he asked if I was alright, continuing to thrust into me and push me into the tree. Even if I had wanted to stop I knew that it was pointless, he had gotten what he wanted and my innocence had left.

-GW


	4. And all is wasted in the sand

To be honest, it already feels as though I have said too much. Is it odd to want to relive your memories and feel ashamed of them after discussing them?

Apparently this device is dying... who knew you had to charge these things. I suppose it makes sense for a mug... device like this to die overtime I mean it can't be magical. Right. I suppose I may be able to find a way to keep it on... maybe --

It was hard being with DT, I thought he was the end all - I think I could keep saying that over and over as an excuse and never feel disappointed with myself but there is a truth in that. Its an excuse. I let it happen to me for too long and it change me into a person with so many fractures in her life that it feels as if every day a new persona is constructed.

There were a few times over the course of that year that I began to question things further. Crookshanks is nudging me, darn cat - and now the computer has 1% left. Tomorrow I suppose. This will have to wait, though I do wish that I could get into BZ

~*~*~*~

BZ and I met... well I am not sure how we met exactly. I think it was because my best friend LL was into one of his friends and so in a practical manner I was subject to being around BZ. Her father, the every wonderful and slightly paranoid of all things thought it was best for her to have a friend around and for her guy to have a friend around - hence why I was stuck with BZ but it worked out in the end. We had a strong friendship that later developed into something else.

If there were ever a winery chill, I knew I would have an extra cloak if I asked.  
If ever I needed something - I knew there was someone to turn to. Aside from LL of course.

It is a strange feeling to know that I once had a bond so powerful with someone that I thought that we would be close forever. It isn't often that you can kiss someone and later shake it off and go back to being friends until necessity finds you together again.

To be honest I don't remember our first kiss, or how we even started doing things that way. I suppose that isn't nearly as bad as forgetting your first time with a new partner - heck I can't remember any of the times I had sex with MC but I know that I did, he would never let me live it down. He was too cocky to pretend he was still a virgin, a fact I hadn't considered when I offered to him a favor.

Getting back on topic - I do remember the first time we really held hands, I think I nearly broke a school window. I also remember the times he sneaked up to my dormitory.

Once it was for my birthday, he had made me a book and knew of my fondness for them. He hid outside and tried to get my attention without waking up anyone in the hall. I was quite thankful for it but at the time he still had some fears, so he had brought LL's now ex-boyfriend along for the ride. It was funny how that turned out, before it was BZ following him for a girl and then it was him with a tag along in the end.

Then for Valentines day a year or two later he sneaked a rose. It was the last one available in Hogsmeade and he had gone out after dark and got it in the middle of the night. Sure it was small, and partially dead because it had been sitting there all day, but at the time it was just what I needed. A romantic gesture. At that point in our dance we were not necessarily together but we were back on the brink of being with each other for another turn. Funny how fickle things can be at a younger age. After that - well I suppose I should go in order. There were other times we crossed paths in the in between - when I was tired of DT twisting my feelings, BZ was always there for me.

-GW


	5. The good. The bad. The ugly.

My time with BZ and DT was a constant struggle. A dance if you will. I believed that everything was set for me to be with DT as if he had cast some sort of spell. The longer I stayed the more I became enraptured. That is until someone would shake my senses. Most of the time LL would do her best to keep me from him. At one point we even drew up a contract but its binding was broken easily by his actions.

I began seeing BZ to offset it. And my attraction to him was undeniable. Every time he was near me I would force myself to refrain from touching him despite my desires. We shared a common interest and met on more than one occasion. I wanted more from him always but DT was always in the one.

One night I remember being at a celebration and seeing DT in the corner of my eye waiting outside the entrance. He was leering in on BZ and I huddle in conversation and when I noticed him he only glared harder. Bearing his anger into my soul which only increase my fear of him. I stayed with BZ and another friend that night but every time I awoke DT was on the doorway glaring at us with disdain.

-GW

~*~*~*~

The auto correct on this device is hilarious.  
When you cant think of a title just select the words it thinks you're going to type before you've actually typed anything.

I thought about where in the story of BZ to talk about next but to be honest my memory is starting to fade. It hasn't been the best since second year when I nearly fell in the chamber. It was my own fault writing in that journal but that is why I have this now. The internet is too vast for you know who and I don't think it will matter much soon anyway. The end is coming.

Everyone knows it is that's why they have started to pair up. To say their goodbyes. But when the end comes for me, when it is my turn to die who will be my matching piece. I'm beginning to think it's best to stick with what everyone else assumes. HP that boy. The one I truly love even though others are on my mind. Like BZ and that night we used the window as our movie.

-GW


End file.
